Why Parents have no love.

Earlier in the week I went to the weekly recovery meeting I go to near my home. Its not an AA or an NA meeting. Its just a non-denominational meeting held at the local Catholic Church and open to all. At the meeting one lady who goes all the time who came from a very unloved home asked this question' "Why didnt my Mom love me" (She was abused)

I sent her an e-mail later. Its my attempt to explain it to her. She said it was helpful so I'll post it here in the hope that the reader will find it helpful also.


***********************************************************************************
I want to try and answer Pat's question today of why her Mom didnt love her as it may help her. More broadly the question is why parents dont love their children.Of course its not true of all parents but Im afraid its true of most. Its natural for children to want love from their parents, but most parents just dont have it to give.


My parents also didnt love me. Although Im sure if you had asked them, especially my Father, they would have said they did. They were self decieved.


Real Love is a very rare commodity. I think it always has been.

Its clear that my mother did not love me.You cant love a child and beat them. In fact, she had a spirit in her that hated me. It wasn't her but a spirit of evil that had made a home in her. How did that spirit get inside her? The usual way that the spirit of evil gets inside people is through cruelty and the attendant hate and resentment. Although their are othe ways( for example, use of alcohol and drugs) . I dont know all the details of what happened but my mom came from a broken home and had an unloving Father, although she doesnt talk about it much.What terrible traumas happened I dont know. But I do know after she married that she left home and never saw her father again.

My Father also came from horrible circumstances. His Father abandoned his family during the depression when my dad was 10 years old or so. He hated his father for it and never forgave him. Because he hated his Father, my Father was seperated from what real love really is.

All people that hate are seperated from Love. Hate is of the Devil. Love is from God. In fact, the scripture accurately states that God is Love.

It may sound like simplistic but the man or women who has found Love has also found God. In other words, the Holy Spirit is living inside them.


So to answer the question. Most Parents, includning my own, come from unloved homes. They are corrupted by cruelty and hate and seperated from Gods Love for that reason. Its like a horrible chain gang stretching back to antiquity. The First man, Adam, was a failing man who didnt love his wife. He could have told Eve to put the apple down and corrected her, but he choose instead to eat of the apple. And we are his descendants, born in sin.


So we are born into horrible circumstances and cruelty with a nature that has a tendency to judge or resent. We suffer from that and if we have children they also suffer from our lack of love.

There was one man who was never corrupted by hate, and who never fell to temptation. You know who he is. He gave himself as a sacrifcie for our sins and the sins of the whole world. When we believe in him and repent (be sorry or sorrowful), our sins our forgiven.And the Holy Spirti comes into our hearts. Then there is Love.

So really the answer to the question why parents have no love is that they have not found God. Simple as that.