What NOt to do if you have a loved one abusing alcohol/drugs

What NOT to do if you have a loved one abusing alcohol/drugs?





The subject comes up because I was doing some counseling today at a local church and I saw something Ive seen before all too often.



A lady in her 80`’s has a son living in Arizona and she and her husband have been sending him money for his hotel room/food on a consistent basis.She has reports and good reason to believe her 52 year old son is on drugs.She sends him money for 2 reasons. 1) She is afraid he will be thrown out on the street with no place to stay and nothing to eat and 2) She is afraid he will come back from Arizona and do physical harm to her and her 85 year husband if they don’t send him money.



This type of thing is all to common. I have a friend whose mother enabled his brother for years with a place to stay and money. She even bought him a motor home to stay in when her husband wouldn’t let him stay with her.And no matter how many times my friend told her that her “love” was hurting she kept on doing it. He never got better as a result; she just enabled him to keep on doing his thing.



My own parents allowed me to stay at home rent free for years knowing I was using drugs.And I used to regularly steal money from my moms purse to get high and my mom said and did nothing. She wanted to keep “peace” in the family. She even rationalized her weakness by saying to herself I was just getting my “inheritance”Finally, my Dad drew a line in the sand and kicked me out.Ultimately, I ended up in Jail but that was a good thing.



All to often people (especially mothers) feel they are doing their loved ones a favor by helping them out financially in their addiction. Help like this is really hurting and sometimes its very difficult to get people to see this.



It is the suffering of their lifestyle which causes the alcoholic/addict to scratch his wooden head and want something different. In a real sense their suffering is a blessing and the worst thing you can do is take that suffering away.



Not everyone has it in them to recover. Not everyone has suffered enough. Its even true that drawing a line in the sand can make things worse. But nevertheless it is the right thing to do. If you have a loved one using drugs or abusing alcohol living with you and you are allowing it or supporting them financially, its something you really need to stop. Draw a line in the sand and let them suffer. No matter what happens you’ve done the right thing by putting your foot down. Let the chips fall where they may.



Maybe this sounds simplistic to you but believe me that there are people out there that need some advice like this.







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